Proverbs 12:4 (NKJV) Good wife – Bad Wife

Today’s verse teaches us about the difference between how a husband with a “good wife” feels compared to what the husband of a “bad wife” feels.

Proverbs 12:4
4 An excellent wife (literally: wife of valor) is the crown of her husband,
But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.

Here are the definitions of the main words in today’s verse:

excellent: Of the highest or finest quality; extremely meritorious
valor: 1. the qualities of a hero or heroine; exceptional or heroic courage when facing danger 2. a quality of spirit that enables you to face danger or pain without showing fear
crown: A distinction or reward for achievement, especially a title
shame: 1. A painful emotion caused by a strong sense of guilt, embarrassment, unworthiness, or disgrace. 2. One that brings dishonor, disgrace, or condemnation. 3. A condition of disgrace or dishonor; ignominy. 4. A great disappointment. rottenness: 1. the quality of rotting and becoming putrid 2. Made weak or unsound by rot


Using these definitions, we find that a wife of the highest quality or one with a quality of spirit that enables them to face danger or pain without showing fear, is a reward, presumably from God, to their husband. All of us have to face problems and pain in this life, but a husband that has a wife that will stand with them during those times is blessed.



In contrast, a wife that brings embarrassment, dishonor, disgrace, or condemnation on her husband, is looked upon by God as someone who makes their husband feel weak, and unsound, as if their bones… the part of their body that holds them up and supports them… are rotting and turning putrid.


Often, women don’t understand this about their men. Men NEED to feel respected by their wives, as it says in Ephesians 5:33b. Sometimes, this can be a very hard thing to do if they haven’t done much to be worthy of respect. The first part of Eph. 5 tells us that Christian men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, being willing to die for her… A husband who puts his life on the line (whichever way the wife NEEDS) to show his love, will win the respect of the wife.


This is an interesting dilemma, and one of the reasons that God asks us to be very careful to not be “unequally yoked,” or married to someone who is NOT a Christian. Of course, if we become a Christian AFTER we are married, it just becomes harder for the spouse. If he isn’t a Christian, he will generally NOT have that love deep down inside, that is given by God, and will be unable, or unwilling to give the type of love that God made marriage to be designed for. This, in turn will make it hard for the wife to respect him.


Still, God asks that WE treat others, and that includes our spouses, in the way that He wants us to treat them… with the love He speaks of in 1 Corinthians 13.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a (NKJV)

4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails…

Proverbs 11: 12 Neighborhood relationships

Note: Sorry I skipped a day… it was hubby’s and my 34th wedding anniversary and I played hooky over the weekend from writing my blogs… :)

Today’s proverb is one that speaks of neighborhood relationships, and the wise way to handle them.

Proverbs 11: 12 (NKJV)

12 He who is devoid of wisdom despises his neighbor,
But a man of understanding holds his peace.

First, let’s look at the definitions of the main words. The Online Dictionary gives the definition of the word, “devoid” as: Completely lacking; destitute or empty… and the definition of the word, “despises” as: 1. To regard with contempt or scorn 2. To dislike intensely; loathe 3. To regard as unworthy of one's interest or concern:

This verse, then, speaks of those that are completely lacking in wisdom and the fact that they tend to have no interest or concern for their neighbors. Throughout God’s word, His purpose is to draw people together in love and care for each other. We see that He feels that someone who doesn’t care about others is lacking in His wisdom.

The end of the verse goes on to tell us that “a man of understanding,” which we have seen in other studies in this book is a description of a “righteous man,” will “hold his peace…” Generally when THIS phrase is used, it means that person will hold his tongue or be very careful in the way that he handles situations. He will be in control of himself and his reactions to the problems that come up, and handle them in ways that God would lead him in. This, in turn, will lead to healing instead of further strife.

Proverbs 11: 9 Hypocrisy

Today’s verse covers the problems that neighbors can have when one or more of them have a problem with hypocrisy.

Proverbs 11: 9 (NKJV)

9 The hypocrite with his mouth destroys his neighbor,

But through knowledge the righteous will be delivered.

The Thesaurus on the Free Online Dictionary gives these definitions of a hypocrite – 1. A person who professes beliefs and opinions that he or she does not hold in order to conceal his or her real feelings or motives 2. A person who is inwardly evil but outwardly professes to be virtuous 3. Someone who leads you to believe something that is not true.

These types of people live on lying and gossip, and the words that come from their mouths, can cause great harm and even destruction to those around them. In contrast, those that are lead by the Spirit of God through knowledge of His Word and His Ways can find ways to extricate themselves from the webs of lies the hypocrite has woven for them. Their character and the ways that they have lived will show others which one is telling the truth and which is lying.

Proverbs 11: 4 Riches vs Righteousness

The verse we are studying today, warns us not to put our trust in riches, but in being right with God. We will use verses from the Bible with God’s definitions of the major ideas from today’s verse.

Proverbs 11: 4 (NKJV)

4 Riches do not profit in the day of wrath,
But righteousness delivers from death.


God is a God of Love, and as such, He must judge evil. There is coming, a “Day of Wrath,” when God WILL pour out His judgment on those that refuse to accept Him as their Lord and Jesus as their savior! He gave up His son to save us and there is nothing further He can do. We don’t have to face this… It is our choice. Here is what God has to say about the “Day of Wrath” in Isaiah 13:9-13 (NKJV)


9 Behold, the day of the LORD comes,
Cruel, with both wrath and fierce anger,
To lay the land desolate;
And He will destroy its sinners from it.

10 For the stars of heaven and their constellations

Will not give their light;

The sun will be darkened in its going forth,

And the moon will not cause its light to shine.

11 “ I will punish the world for its evil,

And the wicked for their iniquity;

I will halt the arrogance of the proud,

And will lay low the haughtiness of the terrible.

12 I will make a mortal more rare than fine gold,

A man more than the golden wedge of Ophir.

13 Therefore I will shake the heavens,

And the earth will move out of her place,
In the wrath of the LORD of hosts

And in the day of His fierce anger.

Psalms 49: 16-20 (NIV) warns us not to be overawed with “riches,” because riches, in themselves, will not bring life.

16 Do not be overawed when a man grows rich,

when the splendor of his house increases;
17 for he will take nothing with him when he dies,

his splendor will not descend with him.
18 Though while he lived he counted himself blessed—

and men praise you when you prosper-

19 he will join the generation of his fathers,
who will never see the light of life .
20 A man who has riches without understanding

is like the beasts that perish.

NOTE: It is the man that has "riches WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING" that will perish. It isn't the riches that bring about condemnation, it is putting them before God that does.

Psalms 15: 1 – 5 gives us a definition from the Bible, of the person that God feels is “righteous,” and who will end up in Heaven…

1 LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill?
2 He whose walk is blameless

and who does what is righteous,

who speaks the truth from his heart
3 and has no slander on his tongue,

who does his neighbor no wrong

and casts no slur on his fellowman,
4 who despises a vile man

but honors those who fear the LORD,

who keeps his oath

even when it hurts,
5 who lends his money without usury

and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.

He who does these things

will never be shaken.

Now, let's read, again our verse from today: Proverbs 11: 4 Riches do not profit in the day of wrath, But righteousness delivers from death. After reading God’s definitions, I found this verse to be much more meaningful and significant in it’s meaning for me… I hope that you did too!

Proverbs 10:12 Love Covers...

Today’s verse is a very important one… one that we should all memorize. The second half of this verse is God's ultimate Will for us to know and live... just as Jesus lived it out, even to dying to cover ALL of OUR sins.

Proverbs 10:12 (NKJV)

12 Hatred stirs up strife,

But love covers all sins.

The online dictionary defines “hatred” as: the emotion of intense dislike; a feeling of dislike so strong that it demands action. It defines “strife” as: 1. Heated, often violent dissension; bitter conflict 2. A struggle, fight, or quarrel. 3. Contention or competition between rivals.

When people allow hatred to settle into their hearts, whether caused by a wrong done to them or a loved one, some kind of pain caused them or one they love, or any other reason, (covetousness, jealousy, etc.) sooner or later, those feelings will “bubble up” inside of them.

These strong feelings, will eventually cause conflict of some sort. Sometimes, this is deep within one’s own body, as stress compounds like cortisol pour into the system. These compounds will erode the natural, God-given immune system that was created to help us fight off diseases.

The following is taken from a website about Stress Management:

Higher and more prolonged levels of cortisol in the bloodstream (like those associated with chronic stress) have been shown to have negative effects, such as:

*Impaired cognitive performance
*Suppressed thyroid function
*Blood sugar imbalances such as hyperglycemia

*Decreased bone density
*Decrease in muscle tissue

*Higher blood pressure
*Lowered immunity and inflammatory responses

in the body, slowed wound healing,

and other health consequences

*Increased abdominal fat, which is associated with a greater amount of health problems than fat deposited in other areas of the body. Some of the health problems associated with increased stomach fat are heart attacks, strokes, the development of , higher levels of “bad” cholesterol (LDL) and lower levels of “good” cholesterol (HDL), which can lead to other health problems!

Another thing that a continued, “simmering hatred” often does is to manifest outward problems, most typically anger issues, in a person’s life. They have anger that they just can’t seem to control, and that can come out in self-destructive behavior, as well as in violent displays and acts toward others.

Hatred is a sin! Jesus makes that clear in his teachings in Matt. 5:21 & 22:

Murder Begins in the Heart

21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire.

The second part of this verse is the “cure” for these problems. It states: “love covers all sins.” When we are “born again” by asking Jesus to forgive our sins (that would lead us to eternal death), and to come and live within us with His Holy Spirit (leading us into God’s kingdom and eternal life), than that “renewed spirit” is one that God helps to grow into a forgiving, loving spirit as we grow and become more like Him.

This most often DOESN’T happen overnight… it often takes some time. Praying for the person or problem will allow God to work in our lives, give us self-control, and show us things that can change the “hatred” in our own hurting hearts. Once we reach a place of forgiveness, then the seed of love can grow. Here is what Jesus has to say on this subject in Luke 6: 27-36 :

Love Your Enemies

27 “But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you. 29 To him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer the other also. And from him who takes away your cloak, do not withhold your tunic either. 30 Give to everyone who asks of you. And from him who takes away your goods do not ask them back. 31 And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise.

32 “But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you hope to receive back, what credit is that to you? For even sinners lend to sinners to receive as much back. 35 But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil. 36 Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.

Proverbs 3: 29 & 32

In these verses we have three “DO NOT’s.” They cover actions toward your neighbor, toward strangers, and toward your enemies. Remember that these verses follow directly after the verses that spoke of the “Golden Rule” principle. They enlarge on what those verses were discussing. First let’s look at today’s scriptures.

Proverbs 3: 29 & 32

29 Do not devise evil against your neighbor,

For he dwells by you for safety’s sake.

30 Do not strive with a man without cause,

If he has done you no harm.

31 Do not envy the oppressor,

And choose none of his ways;

32 For the perverse person is an abomination to the LORD,

But His secret counsel is with the upright.

In verse 29, we are admonished to “NOT devise evil against your neighbor…” (devise - 1. To form, plan, or arrange in the mind; design or contrive: 2. Archaic To suppose; imagine.)

This scripture tells us that “he dwells by you for safety’s sake.” During Bible times, your neighbors were often family members, or you had chosen the place that you wanted to live. In today’s world you are often sort of “plopped down” where it happens to be convenient for your work, or some other reason (like it’s the only thing you can afford, etc.)

Still, if you are trying to put God first in all that you do, and He is leading you, then you are exactly where God wants you to be, and your job is to shine the light of Christ’s love out onto your neighbors, and not “imagine” or “plan” to do anything evil against them… no matter what they are like or have done! Christ teaches, in Matthew 5:21-26, that we are to love and not hate… that hate, or planning evil… makes us as bad as a murderer in His sight.

The next verse exhorts us not to “strive with a man without cause, if he has done you no harm.” The definition of Strive is: 1. To exert much effort or energy; endeavor. 2. To struggle or fight forcefully; contend. In other scriptures, God tells us that we should be “peacemakers” and not argue over small things. We shouldn’t be struggling or fighting forcefully with people that haven’t even harmed us. This is not the way that we should be using the “effort or energy” that we are given. There WERE times when Christ got angry… when people twisted the things of God, and made them evil or a mockery of what they were supposed to be, and this is not what this verse is talking about.

The last two verses speak of oppressors and “perverse persons.” We are not to “envy” them OR chose any of their ways. Oppress means: 1. To keep down by severe and unjust use of force or authority 2. To weigh heavily on: or 3. Obsolete To overwhelm or crush. and perverse means: 1. Directed away from what is right or good; perverted. 2. Obstinately persisting in an error or fault; wrongly self-willed or stubborn. 3. a. Marked by a disposition to oppose and contradict. b. Arising from such a disposition. 4. Cranky; peevish.

“Oppressors,” from this definition, indicate a person that has authority over someone else. IF we are living in God’s kingdom, and we are given authority over others (our children, employees, coworkers, etc.), than we must use that authority to help them to grow in their own lives and in their lives with God and Christ. Sometimes, we do this with discipline, while other times we should use love, forgiveness and modeling a Christ-like life. We should NEVER be “oppressors,” and try to manipulate others by force or threats.

“Perverse persons,” by these definitions, are people who are the opposite of Godly people. They pervert goodness and righteousness; their lives are ruled by selfishness. They persist in their sins and are stubborn about turning from them. We have all known people with “a disposition to oppose and contradict,” in every way possible. These are not happy people, and even if they have a position of authority, and usually wealth, we should never “envy” them as God looks on them as “abominations.”

Verse 32 ends by telling us that GOD’S secret counsel is NOT with these type of people, but with those that are following Him and living an “upright” life. HIS counsel is what will truly bring perfect peace, joy and love into our lives in His timing.

Proverbs 3: 25 & 26

We will look at the next 2 verses today from Proverbs 3. They speak of the Lord’s protection and of not having to live in fear. Here they are:

Proverbs 3: 25 & 26

25 Do not be afraid of sudden terror, Nor of trouble from the wicked when it comes; 26 For the LORD will be your confidence, And will keep your foot from being caught.

Verses 25 and 26 tell us that we don’t have to be afraid of “sudden terror.” This is would be things that happen unexpectedly. Many people today are living under a cloud of fear. They are afraid of a drive by, or of their child being harmed in some way. They fear for their future with the uncertain economy. They can’t sleep for fear, and their bodies are experiencing the toll that fear costs… lowered immunity, stress related problems that make them turn to drugs or alcohol, weight gain, anxiety attacks, etc.

Jesus tells us that in the last days, this is the way that so many people will live:

Luke 21:25-27 (NKJV)

The Coming of the Son of Man
25 “And there will be signs in the sun, in the moon, and in the stars; and on the earth distress of nations, with perplexity, the sea and the waves roaring; 26 men’s hearts failing them from fear and the expectation of those things which are coming on the earth, for the powers of the heavens will be shaken. 27 Then they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory.

We see so much of this happening today. The news is full of stories about the raise of heart attacks and stress related disorders.

Today’s verses, though, tell us that we don’t have to live in that kind of fear, or of fear of evil men causing us trouble. They may try to cause us trouble, but these verses tell us that “the LORD will be your confidence, and will keep your foot from being caught.” Remember, we have been talking about Godly wisdom, which is BASED on “seeking first the Kingdom of God and HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS…”

If our lives are based on these principles, then we won’t “fear” for we will have confidence that God has it all in His LOVING hands, and will not give us more than we can bear, but will bring us through, or protect us from (depending on what He knows we need to build our faith) all the problems the evil one throws at us.

I leave you with this verse from 1 John 4:18:

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.