Proverbs 11: 16 Graciousness vs. Ruthlessness

As I read today’s verse. I was dismayed at what MY understanding came up with. The second part of the verse sounded like it totally went against the things that God teaches, so I decided to look up each of the important words so that I would be able to get a complete understanding of the meanings behind the words that upset me. First, let’s read the verse:

Proverbs 11: 16 (NKJV)

16 A gracious woman retains honor,
But ruthless men retain riches.

The word, “gracious” has the root word of “grace” which is defined as: 1. A disposition to be generous or helpful; goodwill; To show mercy or clemency. 2. A favor rendered by one who need not do so 3. (Christian theology) a state of sanctification by God; the state of one who is under God’s divine influence.

The word “gracious,” itself, means: 1. To be characterized by: kindness, warm courtesy, tact, propriety, charm or beauty; gracefulness, elegance and good taste 2. To be of a merciful or compassionate nature. 3. (Archaic meaning) Enjoying favor or grace; acceptable or pleasing. These characteristics fit the example, at the end of Proverbs, of the “perfect” woman in God’s sight where it also says that this woman will be honored.

The word “retains” means: 1. To maintain possession of 2. To keep or hold 3. To keep in mind; remember.

The word, “honor” is defined as: 1. High respect, as that shown for special merit; esteem: 2. Good name; reputation. 3. Glory or recognition; distinction.

Our last main word in this verse is “ruthless” which means: Having no compassion or pity; merciless: without mercy or pity; "a monster of remorseless cruelty"

The first part of our verse says that a woman (or person) that shows compassion, mercy, gentleness, courtesy, and tact, even when they don’t HAVE TO, will enjoy favor and be acceptable or pleasing to God. Someone with these traits will keep in mind, or hold onto, their good name and reputation. People will recognize them them by giving them a LOT of respect. An excellant example of a person like this was Mother Theresa.

Think of those people who have shown these qualities that you know, and how you feel about that person. This would be something I would want to strive for in MY life because I want people to see God’s work in my life.

The second part of this verse is what caused me to be confused because, through a cursory reading, it seemed to say that you need to be “ruthless,” or "a monster of remorseless cruelty," that has NO compassion, pity or mercy toward people if you want to be rich. If you look further, though, at the verse, it says these types of people will RETAIN their riches. They will NOT share them or use them to help others, no matter how badly it is needed.

I came to see that God was “reporting” on what happens in this world. By remembering so many of the rest of the verses that we have been studying in Proverbs, I know that those “riches” are doing NOTHING for the soul of that person. He would have NO peace, love or joy in his heart, for you only get those by giving them away to others. An example of this was Hitler who ended up going mad and killing himself.

I also remembered that several of the verses that we have studied essentially were “boiled down” by Christ into these words in Mark 8:36 -- For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?”

Proverbs 4: 5 – 9

Today we are looking at the next five verses of chapter 4:

Proverbs 4: 5 - 9 (NKJV)

5 Get wisdom! Get understanding!

Do not forget, nor turn away from the words of my mouth.

6 Do not forsake her, and she will preserve you;

Love her, and she will keep you.

7 Wisdom is the principal thing;

Therefore get wisdom.

And in all your getting, get understanding.

8 Exalt her, and she will promote you;

She will bring you honor, when you embrace her.

9 She will place on your head an ornament of grace;

A crown of glory she will deliver to you.”

Last time we saw that Solomon was talking to his sons, and trying to pass along the wisdom that he had learned during his life and from the teachings of his father, King David (which God called a “man after His own heart.”)

He repeats, emphatically, the need for wisdom and understanding, and asks that these things NOT be forgotten or turned away from. He begs them/us not to forsake wisdom because “she” will preserve them/us. He states that if “wisdom” is loved, than it will keep you.

This sounds like many parents who say the same things over and over and over to children to try to make sure that they will get the things they feel are important into their child’s life. I’ve been there and done that, and apparently this is one thing that even God, as our parent, knows that we need to help make us pay attention to the things that are important.

He again goes into the need to not only hear and put wisdom into our minds, but to also digest it until we understand the concepts. He says that if we “Exalt her (wisdom),” then “she will promote you.” “Exalt” means to: 1. raise in rank, character, or status; elevate: The definition of “promote” is: 1. a. To raise to a more important or responsible job or rank. b. To advance (a student) to the next higher grade. 2. To contribute to the progress or growth of; further. 3. To urge the adoption of; advocate for:

I would tend to take the second definition of "promote" in this instance and say that when we put Godly wisdom first in our lives, it will contribute to progress or growth in our lives. The same verse goes on to say that when we embrace her, we will gain honor.

Our last verse for today, talks of wisdom placing “an ornament of grace” on the head, much like the verse in chapter 3, verse 22. where it talks about discernment being “an ornament of grace” to your neck. This verse goes on to say that it will deliver a crown of glory to you.

These types of adornment draws the eyes to the wearer, and often draw people to the person wearing them. If we are being “adorned” by Godly living, then we will draw people to us as they feel the difference that God makes in us. We should have the “living water” of Christ’s love to pour out into the lives of those who are seeking Him when He does draw them toward us.

Proverbs 3: 33 & 35

Today, we will finish Chapter 3 of Proverbs with these 3 verses:

Proverbs 3: 33 & 35

33 The curse of the LORD is on the house of the wicked,

But He blesses the home of the just.

34 Surely He scorns the scornful,

But gives grace to the humble.

35 The wise shall inherit glory,

But shame shall be the legacy of fools.

All three of these verses use “antithetical parallelism.” That is the form of Hebrew poetry in which the second line is the opposite, or in contrast with, the first. The contrasts intensify the lesson to be learned and helps to drive it home..

Verse 33 tells us that “the curse of the Lord is on the house of the wicked…” When there is wickedness in a house, it tends to be JUST a house, and not a home. It is a place where people go to eat and sleep, but there is usually NOT love or peace there, and THAT is what makes a home a real “home.” When those that dwell together in a house are truly just and living Godly lives that are filled with the Fruit of the Spirit, then God will bless that place and make it a true “HOME.”

Verse 34 warns that people that treat others with scorn and derision will receive scorn from God. The online dictionary defines the word “scorn” as 1. a.contempt or disdain felt toward a person or object considered despicable or unworthy. b. The expression of such an attitude in behavior or speech; derision. 2. One spoken of or treated with contempt.. 3. To consider or treat as contemptible or unworthy. 4. To reject or refuse with derision; to express contempt; scoff.

Though God is love and wants to love people, those that reject Him and His love, and treat others in evil ways, will have the protection of the Lord removed from their lives. His purpose for this is to bring people back to following Him and His ways, because, since HE is the CREATOR, He knows what will give us peace in our lives. The whole point of the tribulations, spoken of in Revelation, are to show God’s majesty and power with the hope that they will repent and turn to Him, but there are still people that refuse to repent and turn from their evil ways. (See Revelations 16:9 and 11 where this is spelled out in so many words.)

The second part of verse 34 uses the contrast between the way Lord treats the scornful in the first part, and the way he treats those that are humble in the second. It says that He gives grace, or “unmerited favor” to those that are humble. The word “humble” is defined as 1. Marked by meekness or modesty in behavior, attitude, or spirit; NOT arrogant or prideful. 2. Showing deferential or submissive respect: If we are humble to others, and especially toward the Lord, then He will pour His favor out in our lives even though we don’t deserve it.

The last verse of this chapter sums up the difference between the “ends” of those that are wise compared with those that are foolish. It says that those that are “wise,” or are following Godly wisdom in their lives, will inherit glory, and I believe this is speaking of the glory of becoming a citizen of heaven.

On the other hand, those that are foolish, will leave behind a "legacy" or feeling of shame, in those that have followed them… their families or friends. The definition of legacy is: something handed down from an ancestor or a predecessor. Those that refuse to follow God and accept His free gift of eternal life, are CHOOSING eternal death… the second death spoken of in Revelation 20:14 & 15. This IS true foolishness!