Proverbs 11: 16 Graciousness vs. Ruthlessness

As I read today’s verse. I was dismayed at what MY understanding came up with. The second part of the verse sounded like it totally went against the things that God teaches, so I decided to look up each of the important words so that I would be able to get a complete understanding of the meanings behind the words that upset me. First, let’s read the verse:

Proverbs 11: 16 (NKJV)

16 A gracious woman retains honor,
But ruthless men retain riches.

The word, “gracious” has the root word of “grace” which is defined as: 1. A disposition to be generous or helpful; goodwill; To show mercy or clemency. 2. A favor rendered by one who need not do so 3. (Christian theology) a state of sanctification by God; the state of one who is under God’s divine influence.

The word “gracious,” itself, means: 1. To be characterized by: kindness, warm courtesy, tact, propriety, charm or beauty; gracefulness, elegance and good taste 2. To be of a merciful or compassionate nature. 3. (Archaic meaning) Enjoying favor or grace; acceptable or pleasing. These characteristics fit the example, at the end of Proverbs, of the “perfect” woman in God’s sight where it also says that this woman will be honored.

The word “retains” means: 1. To maintain possession of 2. To keep or hold 3. To keep in mind; remember.

The word, “honor” is defined as: 1. High respect, as that shown for special merit; esteem: 2. Good name; reputation. 3. Glory or recognition; distinction.

Our last main word in this verse is “ruthless” which means: Having no compassion or pity; merciless: without mercy or pity; "a monster of remorseless cruelty"

The first part of our verse says that a woman (or person) that shows compassion, mercy, gentleness, courtesy, and tact, even when they don’t HAVE TO, will enjoy favor and be acceptable or pleasing to God. Someone with these traits will keep in mind, or hold onto, their good name and reputation. People will recognize them them by giving them a LOT of respect. An excellant example of a person like this was Mother Theresa.

Think of those people who have shown these qualities that you know, and how you feel about that person. This would be something I would want to strive for in MY life because I want people to see God’s work in my life.

The second part of this verse is what caused me to be confused because, through a cursory reading, it seemed to say that you need to be “ruthless,” or "a monster of remorseless cruelty," that has NO compassion, pity or mercy toward people if you want to be rich. If you look further, though, at the verse, it says these types of people will RETAIN their riches. They will NOT share them or use them to help others, no matter how badly it is needed.

I came to see that God was “reporting” on what happens in this world. By remembering so many of the rest of the verses that we have been studying in Proverbs, I know that those “riches” are doing NOTHING for the soul of that person. He would have NO peace, love or joy in his heart, for you only get those by giving them away to others. An example of this was Hitler who ended up going mad and killing himself.

I also remembered that several of the verses that we have studied essentially were “boiled down” by Christ into these words in Mark 8:36 -- For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?”

Proverbs 3: 9 & 10

In today’s world, with the economic crisis throughout our land, these are very important verses to learn and take to heart because these are not just proverbs, but are also promises that are found over and over, throughout the whole Bible.

Proverbs 3: 9 & 10

9 Honor the LORD with your possessions,
And with the firstfruits of all your increase;

10 So your barns will be filled with plenty,

And your vats will overflow with new wine.

These scriptures aren’t just talking about tithing, though that is a very important teaching that is one of the foundations of being blessed by God in our lives. Tithing, or giving to God the first tenth of everything you receive, is one of those “principles” that we talked about in Verses 5 thru 7 in the last study, in that most people would ask “How, if you are giving away money that you need because you are barely making it now, can that be a wise move?”

God’s answer:

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart,

And lean not on your own understanding;

6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,

And He shall direct your paths.

7 Do not be wise in your own eyes…

There are several reasons that God wants us to tithe, and I don’t believe this is JUST money He is talking about. Look at verse 9 in today’s study: Honor the LORD with your possessions, and with the firstfruits of all your increase… Here, it says to honor Him with your possessions, not just your money, but ALL that you have... give Him your whole heart... If people need help and you have something that can help, let them use it or help them with it, and do it as a blessing to God, because of all that He does for you, not because you want something from Him, and He will bless you for that! The principles of “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” come to mind here, also.

“Tithing” has become almost a dirty word to a lot of people because it has been so abused by SOME big churches or TV “evangelists,” but in God’s economy, it was meant to be a blessing, just as sex, food, and so many other things He has given us are supposed to be, but have been twisted into something ugly. It was meant to help us keeps our mind and heart centered on God, and to KNOW that He is the one that provides for us in ALL things. It was to keep us from getting into the mindset that WE are providing for ourselves.

It was such an important principle, that I am going to put most of chapter 3 of the book of Malachi here so you can read it for yourselves and not have anything taken out of context. Also, this is just another way of saying the same thing as the verses we are studying today. Read this and meditate on it, for it is FULL of promise and wonderful blessings!!! The first part of the chapter speaks of Christ’s return …

Malachi 3 (NKJV)

1 “… Behold, He is coming,” says the LORD of hosts.
2 “ But who can endure the day of His coming?
And who can stand when He appears?

For He is like a refiner’s fire and like launderers’ soap.

3 He will sit as a refiner and a purifier of silver;

He will purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver,

That they may offer to the LORD an offering in righteousness.

4 “ Then the offering of Judah and Jerusalem will be pleasant to the LORD,

As in the days of old, as in former years.

5 And I will come near you for judgment;

I will be a swift witness against sorcerers,

Against adulterers, against perjurers,

Against those who exploit wage earners and widows and orphans,

And against those who turn away an alien—

Because they do not fear Me,” says the LORD of hosts.

6 “ For I am the LORD, I do not change; (He has always been longsuffering and merciful)

Therefore you are not consumed, O sons of Jacob.
7 Yet from the days of your fathers, you have gone away from My ordinances

And have not kept them.

Return to Me, and I will return to you,” says the LORD of hosts.

But you said, “In what way shall we return?’

Do Not Rob God
8 “ Will a man rob God?

Yet you have robbed Me!

But you say, ‘ In what way have we robbed You?’

In tithes and offerings!

9 You are cursed with a curse, for you have robbed Me... even this whole nation.

10 Bring all the tithes into the storehouse,

That there may be food in My house,

And try Me now in this,” says the LORD of hosts,

“ If I will not open for you the windows of heaven

And pour out for you such blessing

That there will not be room enough to receive it.

11 “ And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes,

So that he will not destroy the fruit of your ground,

Nor shall the vine fail to bear fruit for you in the field,” says the LORD of hosts;

12 And all nations will call you blessed,

For you will be a delightful land,” says the LORD of hosts.

The People Complain Harshly

13 “ Your words have been harsh against Me,” says the LORD,

“ Yet you say, ‘ What have we spoken against You?’

14 You have said, ‘ It is useless to serve God;

What profit is it that we have kept His ordinance, (These two verses sound like so many people today...)
And that we have walked as mourners before the LORD of hosts?

15 So now we call the proud blessed, for those who do wickedness are raised up;

They even tempt God and go free.’”

A Book of Remembrance

16 Then those who feared the LORD spoke to one another, (I think I want to be in this group)

And the LORD listened and heard them;

So a book of remembrance was written before Him

For those who fear the LORD

And who meditate on His name.

17 “ They shall be Mine,” says the LORD of hosts,

“ On the day that I make them My jewels. (Literally the Hebrew word means, special treasure)

And I will spare them as a man spares his own son who serves him.”

18 Then you shall again discern between the righteous and the wicked,
Between one who serves God

And one who does not serve Him.

I KNOW that I really want to be one of God’s “special treasures”… and I KNOW that I NEED His blessings, so I plan to follow His ways and not what seems “wise in my own eyes…” How about you? We will continue these verses in the next study...

Proverbs 3: 3 & 4

A quick note: I wanted to let those of you who are following this Bible Study know that I will be trying to post at least every two or three days unless an emergency comes up. At least that is my plan at this time. We will see how the Lord leads. Trying to post everyday just didn’t seem to work out, but I don’t plan to quit at this time by any means… just cut back a bit.

Ok… Now, lets read today’s verses, and then we will take a closer look at them:

Proverbs 3: 3 & 4

3 Let not mercy and truth forsake you;
Bind them around your neck,
Write them on the tablet of your heart,

4 And so find favor and high esteem

In the sight of God and man.

There are so many verses in the Bible that talk about having "mercy." The online dictionary gives these definitions: mercy – 1. leniency and compassion shown toward offenders by a person or agency charged with administering justice; 2. a disposition to be kind and forgiving; 3. the feeling that motivates compassion 4. alleviation of distress; showing great kindness toward the distressed.

The Bible tells us that God has mercy on us, and that we should have mercy toward those around us. If we are Christians (trying to be Christ-like) then being merciful should be becoming a way of life for us. If we are in authority over others at work or at home, we should show leniency and compassion whenever it is not detrimental to the growth of the other person.

Sometimes, we are more merciful by disciplining than by “letting it go…” and not letting the person learn from their mistake. This is where weighing the truth and using wisdom (say from looking at the surrounding circumstances very carefully) is so often needed. Snap judgments to often lead to the need for us to apologize to God and to those that were hurt by them.

Our overall mindset should be one of kindness and forgiveness, remembering how much we have been forgiven through Christ’s sacrifice for us. By always keeping this in mind, we will have “the feeling that motivates compassion” toward others that we come into contact with as we travel through this life. Being “compassionate” means that we will “show kindness toward the distressed” and try to help them out of their problems.

True mercy DOES hinge on truth. They go together. Verse 3 says that these two should be “bound around our neck.” To me, I picture them as being hung like a necklace… a piece of adornment and beauty in a person’s life that shows what is written “on the tablet of your heart.” Mercy and truth should be what MOTIVATES us to do the good “works” that are a witness to the fact that God’s love is IN and A PART of our hearts.

We should also remember that Jesus said “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.” I would really want God to show those attributes of mercy to me in my life.

Verse 4 tells us that both men AND GOD will see us with “favor and high esteem,” when we live a life that demonstrates mercy that is based on truth. The dictionary gives these definitions for esteem - 1. the condition of being honored; 2. an attitude of admiration; 3. a feeling of delighted approval and liking. Wouldn’t you want other people, and MOST importantly, God, to look on you with a “feeling of delighted approval and liking…” for what you are doing? I know I would!

Introduction/Basics Continued…

As I mentioned before, reading/listening/ learning about God from ALL of HIS OWN WORDS is important so that you will get a COMPLETE picture of Him. Many people only want to read or study certain PARTS of the Bible like the love chapter in Corinthians, or the Psalms, etc. but in picking and choosing what they want to read, they don’t get a “3-D” picture of God. They want to make up their “OWN” version of God and only see what they want to see of Him.

It is true that we have a God of love and mercy, but He is also a fair and righteous God that judges sin and punishes evil. Those who practice evil will most often “reap what they sow” as they have taken themselves out from under God’s protection by not following His paths for their lives.

Think about someone who gets a pen pal, and gets romantically involved with them. They are reading their letters, and getting to know that person, BUT they only see a couple of sides of that person—the ones they are shown. They wouldn’t REALLY learn about what that person is like until they live with them or near them and interact with them over a period of time.

The Bible IS a love letter from God, but much more, because He CHOSE people to write it that were LIVING with Him… seeing Him and His work and talking directly to Him. ALL of them saw His loving side, but through their walk/life WITH Him, they also saw and reported His other sides: Humor, Fairness, Justice, Anger at sin (because it hurts those He loves). EVERYTHING He does is motivated by love for EVERY ONE of us.

I’m trying to keep these short and sweet so they won’t take much time from your day, so I will stop for now, finish the Intro/Basics tomorrow and then start the first few verses of Proverbs after that…

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